How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
