Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
honey bunches of taint.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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