im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need a beard to bite.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
