...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
