sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
"it" just moved
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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