don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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