He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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