dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
