He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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