she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
