This is not my ceiling
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
