Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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