You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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