He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
