I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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