I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Sry I called you an 8
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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