I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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