i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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