Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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