they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
