omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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