Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
