My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
