I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
