Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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