weddingsv make me drug and hornr
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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