I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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