we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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