remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
