Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
