I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
