I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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