Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
