just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
