There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My life is pants optional.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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