Im at strip club and am horny
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
