Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
