oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
