but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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