If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
