today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
