he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
