Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
