is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
