operation harelip BJ is a go
she told me i tasted like america
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
