She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
