she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
pop tarts are not kleenex
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My breasts were aching with rage.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
