Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize