I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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