giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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