WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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