you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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