people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
