The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
