i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
