You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
