are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
