how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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