So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
