I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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