some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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