Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
