His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
